"In the next installment (I promise will come in a much more prompt fashion) I hope to finish up seventh grade and delve into my eighth grade year." - Nick Bendeck, May 15, 2013. What a crock.
It has been damn near two years since I left you chomping on the proverbial bit. I've apologized on here a few times for absences and untimely posting, and then gone right back on those words and stomped on them. There's really no reason for you to still have an interest, and even if you do, you have earned the right to be skeptical.
My only excuses are fear and lethargy. When I had originally jumped into this storytelling adventure, I thought it would be neat to explore my past experiences and share them with, honestly, anyone. But once I got past the easy-going formative years, I remembered how real life started to get, and how I had handled most it; I hid. Just like I hid from talking about it in this format. I got to the beginning portion of sharing my feelings about a girl, and I just straight up stopped out of fear. Fear of what? I do not know.
I want to do my best to keep this mostly light-hearted, but if I'm honest with myself, that's just not how some of these things shook out. Please, don't misinterpret this as a pity party or an "Oh, his life was sooo tough," story, because that is not my intent. I do want you to know that for the majority of my brief existence on this lovely planet, I have always done my best to be a listening ear when someone had a problem or needed to share something that was bothering them. But I have never been one to share my feelings. I keep them to myself; always have. Burdening others with my "problems" just seemed unfair, probably because they seemed insignificant in my mind when I compared them to the things people had shared with me.
So, what am I saying? I'm saying that, this is going to get difficult for me. I am going to have to dig down into some things that I had previously thought "off-limits." But, I believe deep down, that was the intent of this project from the very beginning. Now, I won't promise you that I'll post every week and I'll be right on top of this thing, but I will say that I am going to give this more thought and energy. I started out on this journey to share my life with you, and even though I've had issues with quitting before, I truly do intend to finish.
Let's leave with this, the very first blog that I posted almost two years ago:
"Honesty. That's what this whole thing is about. Life. Friends. Family. All of them require that one simple word, to hold them together. I haven't been completely honest with the people in my life, or myself, for a long time now. I want to use this as a tool to tell my true story. My real life through my mind. I'll try to keep identities secret, for now, out of respect. Some of this stuff might actually be a little brutal. Honestly, I'm not quite sure what all I'm going to include yet, but it's only fair to myself that I get everything off my chest eventually. This blog will not be about spreading dirt about friends or discrediting people. It will strictly be about telling a story and expressing real emotions. I'd love to have some friends for this journey, so if you want to tune in and talk to me, I'm all for that. I live for communication and interaction. This post is mostly just to get some info out there as to my intentions for the blog. In my next post I'll have a little bit more bio on me and then we'll get started. I'm going to end each post with a little life fact just as a present for your attention. If you've read this, thank you. If you read no more than this, thank you just the same." - Nick Bendeck, April 15, 2013
Today's note: "The same boiling water that softens the potato, hardens the egg. Life isn't about the circumstances you are in, but, rather, what you are made of." A new friend of mine shared this quote with me, and it stuck in my head for months. Life truly is just a constant game of how you respond and react to the situations you are put in. What you're made of and how you were raised, those are the factors that grant you passage through life's toughest tests.
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